I watched a movie the other night called Thanks For Sharing.  As you may have figured out by the title, the movie is about addiction.  Not just addiction though, family, friendships, recovery, and struggle.  Happiness, acceptance, honesty, frailty, all the emotions that come with addiction and recovery.  The film features an all-star cast including, Tim Robbins, Mark Ruffalo, Pink (Alecia Moore), Josh Gad, Gwyneth Paltrow Patrick Fugit and Joely Richardson.  I liked this film because they literally touched on so many issues that addicts and those who love them, will recognize.  Some of these feelings bring up the past in us, reminding us of what is, what was and what could be.  The film focuses on the 12 Step Program and the characters are in a room for Sex Addicts.  Although this group is primarily for Sex Addicts, drug addiction and alcoholism go hand in hand most of the time.  It also shows one of the main characters dealing with his estranged son Danny who is in recovery 8 months from drug addiction.  He makes a point to his father that he is in recovery without the ‘rooms’.  There are relationship issues, new and old.  Friendships and sponsors/sponsee relationships.  New romance, abstinence, honesty!  I highly recommend this film to watch with your addict or the one who loves one.

 I don’t know why he was running but to me, he just looked so desperate

Danny is the character who is Tim Robbins son, and also has the same name as my Angel Danny.  In one scene, the lack of trust from his father lands them both in a brawl.  Although you may not have ended up in a brawl with your addict, the lack of trust will surely resonate with many.

Yesterday I had family over.  My brother, sister and her family and my daughter and her beautiful little family.  We were looking for a signed baseball from Mickey Mantle that my father owned.  My brother couldn’t find it, I remembered that my other brother may have taken it for some reason or other, but meanwhile still searching my brother found another baseball in a case that was not signed.  he asked, “Do you think someone could have taken the valuable ball and replaced it with another ball?”  Normally, if something went missing I would get that nervous feeling, assuming it may have been my child who took it, or just from feeling like someone was thinking it may have been one of them.  I didn’t this time, funny as it sounds because I didn’t think my children knew of the ball or would have the wherewithal to replace it with another new baseball.  Eventually, we got in touch with my other brother and turns out he has the ball.

“Do you think someone could have taken the valuable ball and replaced it with another ball?” 

Nevertheless,  I was reminded of the anxiety I would get every time someone couldn’t find something.  My first thought used to be, oh no, one of my children took it, followed by frantic searching for whatever it was, followed by elation when the item was found or grief when it wasn’t and it was apparent the money or item were stolen.  This was all years ago, these feelings when my children were young and desperate.  I have a picture in my head of my son, 18 years old, trying to make up credits unearned in high school from Phys.Ed.  As ridiculous as it was that it was gym credits, all you had to do was basically show up, nonetheless, those credits were needed to be obtained in order for him to get his physical diploma.  He had to enroll in the Community College and take a course that met the requirements for him to graduate.  He enrolled in yoga, mainly because it was the easiest.  He wasn’t allowed to drive for some reason, I can’t remember if he had just totaled his first car or what the reason was but I drove him to his first class.  I’ll never forget the image of my son, jumping out of the car, yoga mat under his arm and running, running so fast into the building.  I don’t know why he was running but to me, he just looked so desperate.  Looking back, it’s that horrible desperation that comes with addiction that breaks my heart more than anything.  I saw it so many times in my children and that’s the part of addiction that makes it easier for me to accept that my son is in a better place.  He will never suffer that desperation again. the fact that my heart hurts every minute of every day without him is a small price to pay to know that my baby is finally at peace, no longer in constant battle with the “devil” aka heroin.

As stated earlier, I truly recommend watching this film and if you do, would you please share your feelings with us?

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