Tough love doesn’t have to be cruel. If you start early you won’t even have to do it long, you may never have to use tough love again. The end result is you want is a strong, loving, healthy, happy and confident child. Knowing how to do that is sometimes hard for us. It was for me, when we got divorced my life was turned upside down. Every dream I had for our little family was gone… shattered like the explosion of a florescent bulb. For a long time I was a single parent. Their father wasn’t active in their lives for a good while and half of their aunt’s, uncle’s and cousin’s were gone as well.
How could I not overcompensate for their sake?
I know now why I shouldn’t have. I could have done some things differently. I wish I was tougher. More present emotionally. Stronger. Eventually I did become stronger and tougher and more present, just a bit too late. I taught my children that drugs were bad, that some family members had a history of addiction. But once those drugs entered their young bodies, they were done. They were addicted, for too long and with too many consequences. Yet, this struggle can become a way of life in their recovery, a struggle that reaps great rewards.