Two years ago, on a whim, my daughters and I took a ride out to Montauk to buy a Vintage Travel Trailer.  I always wanted a tiny house on wheels but for the price, the trailer was the way to go for now.  Basically, it’s like a tiny house, wood painted cabinets, a real bathroom, kitchen and sleeps six.  I had a car at the time, so I traded it in and got a truck and brought the trailer home three days after it went from a thought to reality.  I have never regretted it.  I made some modifications, decorated it and am getting started with making it totally off the grid.  It’s my getaway, my private space which will eventually go to my daughter and her family.

My son used to love to hang out in there with me, and watch movies.  He put in an air conditioner for me and worked on my plumbing and electric.  We had sleepovers.  It was great.  It took me 6 months to go back into the trailer after his death but now I picture the great times we had.   I named the trailer after my granddaughter, my youngest daughters baby. I am so proud of my daughter, in recovery almost two years now. I still feel she never would’ve done drugs had she not seen her siblings use. When she was fifteen she went to her first rehab. I truly think she would’ve died had she not, so I sent her from there straight to Outreach House, a residential rehab for fourteen months. It was the hardest decision I ever made but I had just found out her she and her brother were using heroin.

Obviously, it didn’t deter her from using when she graduated Outreach but I think it made her a stronger and more independent person.

How could she come home to this chaos? How would she be able to stay away from everyone in the neighborhood when it seemed they were all using drugs? Obviously, it didn’t deter her from using when she graduated Outreach but I think it made her a stronger and more independent person. The program was strict, so strict that a few years later it was written up and modified. She came out into the same chaotic house, town, and friends. By now, they were all three using heroin and pills. She tried recovery a few times even suffered a permanent brain injury from an overdose. With therapy, she regained her speech and cognitive functions and now mainly has short-term memory loss which she has learned to compensate for. It was a long road, she relapsed after her injury but she made the decision on her own to begin a life of recovery. She goes to meetings, hangs out with sober people, isn’t depressed or anxious anymore. She used to be my drama-queen, she couldn’t be further from that now unless there is a spider involved! She is a beautiful young woman with many options in life now and a blessed family. She’s been through so much, losing her brother and basically her sister for the past 8 years as she has been incarcerated 95% of that time. My older daughter and I have patched up our relationship and she is reaching out to her sister to mend their relationship. I hope they do mend their relationship as I am going to be a Nonna once again!!!

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